


Pick of the Patch!

by crayonmen



Series: Dayshift at Freddy's [4]
Category: Dayshift at Freddy's (Fangame)
Genre: I SWEAR I'VE READ HE DOES THAT SOMEWHERE IN THE FIC, M/M, also dave and old sport!!!! i never include those guys i feel bad, but y'knowwww, headcanons galore, i need to step up my game--, idk if you can call this a halloween fic entirely, if you can't tell i haven't read recent chapters s t i l l, it's not even halloween yet it's still september--, jeremy is just..💖🥺🥰💕, jeremy!!!!!!!! fuck yeh, mike and simon have a good time but mike is spiteful for most of it--, mike is a big softie once you break down all 298.723 of his walls 💖💖, mike is the OG at candy hunting, my love for him never ends, simon eats with his shredder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26402800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crayonmen/pseuds/crayonmen
Summary: YES, THAT IS A HALLOWEEN PUN IN THE TITLE. I'm very punny, aren't I? Well--anyway..Mike and Simon enjoy Halloween!..well, it's more SIMON enjoying it, than it is Mike.But, love passes all walls, or--moreso smashes through them with SEVERAL WRECKING BALLS. So, of course, Mike is OBLIGATED to enjoy it....or else, he receives the doggo punishment again!
Relationships: Mike Schmidt/Simon Mccall (Lucario's DSAF AU)
Series: Dayshift at Freddy's [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1911463
Comments: 7
Kudos: 9





	Pick of the Patch!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lucario](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucario/gifts).



> okay, so, i know i JUST wrote a fic for you--but i felt the urge to write again, and i'm excited for halloween --so naturally, ANOTHER SIMIKE FIC--i tried making it longer this time, but time limits and whatnot
> 
> as always, i hope it's good! there's most likely gonna be another written right after this, i swear--
> 
> speaking of swearing..mike is a god when it comes to swearing in this one. absolute b e a s t

"Mike..?"

"YES, SIMON, FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME--YOUR COSTUME IS FINE. I LIKE IT, STOP FUCKING ASKING--"

"N-no, that's not what I was asking."

Mike's patience for this fucking holiday was WEARING. (..accidental pun?) He'd only been up for an hour, and Simon immediately asked if they could walk together. Of course, being the absolute REFINED gentleman he was--he said, simply, 'Sure.'

"Then what the fuck were you asking?! There has been NOTHING ELSE but the SAME FUCKING QUESTION for 30. FUCKING. MINUTES." Mike whipped his head to face Simon, who was a tad stoic, before..

Simon's brows raised, and suddenly he was LAUGHING.

"What? What's so fucking funny, Simon? Am I a JOKE TO YOU?!" Mike's face burned, a searing rage crossed with embarrassment. Simon pointed to his head, and there it sat. A part of the costume apparently 'MANDATORY' for today, despite not ever having been mandatory before--he suspects Simon was behind this, now.

His wolf ear had flopped over in his tantrum, like one of those cute Scottish Fold kittens!

Mike's face had increased in brightness, as if someone went to his settings and set it alllll the way to high. "NEVER FUCKING MIND THAT--" Mike adjusted the ear back up, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS YOUR QUESTION?!"

Simon laughed, enraging Mike even more--"I just wanted to ask..when we get there, could you please keep.." he gestured to Mike's costume, "..this on? I actually like it!"

Mike squinted at Simon, unable to tell if he was being serious right now. "I bought it at a DOLLAR STORE, Simon. Stop making fucking fun of me." He grumbled, looking away from Simon. Simon sighed, putting a hand on Mike's shoulder, "Mike..I'm not making fun of you. I swear, just..please keep it on."

Hesitant, Mike was reeled in by just one thing.

"For me?" said Simon, his..non-face giving that kicked puppy aura off, as always.

..FUCK.

FUCKING FUCK!

FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK FUCK!

Mike growled, giving an exasperated huff. "FUCKING FINE. You DEFINITELY owe me one if I'm wearing this thing around DAVE, of all people."

Simon seemed to light up at that, taking this moment to stride closer to Mike.

It wasn't much, but it seemed to lure in Mike aswell.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, if Simon stuck by him for the--well, entire day. He can't afford to lose him even once today, or he might just blow his fucking head off with the amount of people constantly annoying him, and the added 'bonus' of a holiday.

Simon was warm, atleast.

IT'S TOO FUCKING COLD--

<><><>

In the distance, maybe a few feet in once they'd reached the restaurant--he heard IT.

H A L L O W E E N M U S I C .

He HATED holidays in themselves--but MUSIC? It made him go insane, the repetitive sounds of 'OOH EEH OOH AH AHH, TING TANG, WALLA WALLA BING BANG' going on replay, banging off the insides of his head like a DVD screensaver.

Mike hated holidays, as per usual, but music was most definitely fucking wack.

Cupid Shuffle, Baby it's Cold Outside, fucking EASTER CHILDREN'S RHYMES--they all pissed him off equally.

The further in they got, the more blood rushing to his head. Simon was trying to calm him down, and eventually--they reached Dave and Old Sport, with Jeremy and the puppet accompanying them. 

Animatronics were likewise spread across the restaurant as of yet, but Baby sat next to Dave, helping him string up the Halloween version of Christmas lights.

Mike was ready to bust up that DAMNED BOOMBOX, but something stopped him.

Did..Did Old Sport change color?

Dave too?

It looks like they swapped faces, for fucks sake--Old Sport was fitted with purple paint, and Dave was suited in a thin layer of orange. Dave gave a little grin, the creepy fucker--and Old Sport just..shrugged. Partners in crime do everything together, afterall. Especially if they're PARTNERS partners.

Jeremy was doing a stupid little fucking dance, bobbing his head to the Ghostbusters theme song, of FUCKING COURSE--but as infuriating as it was, he's semi-glad Jeremy was having a good time in this hellscape.

The puppet sat on the inside of his backpack, arms hanging out like a pocket pal. That thing creeped Mike the fuck out, but it seemed to bother nobody else.

IT JUST LOOKED AT HIM--FUCK--

Mike quickly retreated, looking somewhere else immediately, the creepy figure standing next to it smiling just a little bit wider. That thing is indeed fucking HORRIFYING, please take it FAR, FAR AWAY FROM HIM.

Jeremy was in some sort of astronaut costume--the absolute shit? Although, with the space in that puppets head, it could make some sort of fucking sense.

Dave and Old Sport were swapped, those crayon fucks--more unoriginal than somebodys Candies' fursona--

..and the two of them? Mike was a fucking wolf--and Simon, with the bright idea of some stupid goddamn couples costume--chose to be a SHEEP. Y'know, since, he totally fucking EATS SIMON ALIVE, right? Yeah, this was stupid as a whole--but when Simon says something, it's set in stone, and Mike, for whatever goddamn reason, can't fight against him without feeling bad.

The robots were still themselves, naturally.

FUCKING. CLOWNS.

CLOWNS!

They were dressed everyday for Halloween, honestly.

"O-oh, hi Mike! Did you see Dave's costume yet? Or Old Sport's? Th-they're really cool!" Jeremy smiled, pointing to the two BANES of his entire existence--Dave, and Old Sport, obviously.

"I saw that the moment I entered this psych ward, how could I NOT? I also see, in general. I'M NOT FUCKING BLIND, YOU MORON--" Mike shook his fists, unable to contain his outburst. Simon slapped a hand over Mike's mouth, continuing for him instead.

"Wh-what he MEANT, is that he has seen them already! He ALSO likes your costume! He's just too shy to--"

"THE FUCK I DO NOT, YOU PHONE PIECE OF--" Mike muffled through the hand of Simon, before just choosing to rip it off. Simon protested, shaking his head at Mike furiously, but silent as ever.

Mike was ready to flame him for this, but kept in his FUMING HATRED FOR HALLOWEEN, and went for keeping quiet. Simon might as well enjoy this day with the others, without Jeremy upset the entire time just because Mike blasted him with insults of ill temper.

"S-so.." Jeremy pressed on, "Mike's a wolf, and you're a sheep? I gotta say--that's so, so, so cute!" Jeremy gushed, and it looks like Simon was flustered, as far as he could tell.

Simon pointed to Jeremy's costume, "Well, I-I think yours is way cuter! It's alot more original than most costumes I see.." sung Simon, praising the other boy.

"No w-way! You and Mike are su-super sweethearts, if I had any money for candy--I'd give you it all!" Jeremy declared, and..that's what began the start of Halloween, WW3. He had no idea what they were doing at this point--but in an instant, they were arguing over who's outfit was cuter.

"Yours is made of polyester! Do you know how soft that is?!" Jeremy cried, to which Simon struck back with yet another compliment.

"Yours is even softer! The inside of your sleeves is made of silk!" he pointed to the cuffed sleeves, and before anyone could say ANOTHER FUCKING NICE THING about SHIT--Mike put forth a long, long, COLORFUL, HALLOWEEN-THEMED string of swears.

Mike shouted with all the fury they'd generated with their stupid fucking flattery, "WOULD YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP?! BOTH OF YOUR OUTFITS ARE FUCKING GOOD--SHUT THE FUCKING FUCK FUCK F U C K UP BEFORE I KNOCK YOUR SKULLS--I mean--HEADS TOGETHER!"

Jeremy and Simon both fell silent, as did Dave and Old Sport.

It was the fucking second coming, today, apparently.

Jeremy's smile wobbled, lacing his fingers together hopefully. "..you admit my costume is..IS.."

"GOOD?!" they all said in their horribly, disgusting fucking unison. Mike attempted to back out the instant he realized, but it was too late for him. He was D O O M E D .

Mike held his head, distressed and bashful--"SHUT THE EVERLOVING--"

<><><>

Old Sport and Dave were attempting to blow up a spider decoration, but somehow, the air kept escaping. Mike snickered, holding the needle in hand. Serves those fucking morons right for making fun of him.

He dropped the needle somewhere, and made his way back over to the end of the SEEMINGLY never-ending restaurant. Simon was sitting there, checking out all sorts of lights and whatnot. He was investigating a string with a few busted bulbs from where Funtime Fuckface had slammed into, or--more slammed THROUGH, which lead to a high-speed chase scene in the back of a truck they'd stolen from the parking lot.

("GET DOWN!" Dave screamed at the flying bear, shaking his fist in the air.

"WH-WHY-WHY SHOULD I-I, DAAAAAA-AAD?!" Funtime Freddy yelled back, flames thrusting from the metal tubes on the shoulder blades of his back. Dave stuck a finger up in the air, giving a disapproving look.

"BECAUSE I SAID SO, YOUNG MAN!" Dave shouted, making sure the bear could hear him over the increasing force of wind and the sound of the bears own screams. Simon sighed, shaking his head. Was this really life, or a constant action movie?--

Funtime Freddy seemed annoyed, or, in his case, CLINICALLY FUCKING INSANE.

"YOU DO-DO-DOOOOOON'T UNDERS-STAND, DAAA-AA-AAAD! IT'S N-NOT A PHAAAASEEE!" Funtime Freddy stuck his tongue out at his aubergine 'dad', rebellious as ever.

"I SWEAR, WHEN WE CATCH YOU, YOU'RE GROUNDED! FOREVER!" Old Sport roared, brows furrowing into something akin to a very angry father. Jeremy looked slightly anxious next to the man, scooting away.

Funtime Freddy yowled, "YOOOU'RE NO-NO-NOOOOOOT TAKING AWAY MY JE-JETPAC-CK! NO WAAAYY!" He went faster, increasing the speed on his jetpack--

\--until he ran out of fuel.

A multitude of cries erupted from the truck, unbeknownst to many what they were for, but they knew. T h e y k n e w .

"MY BABY!"

"THE ANIMATRONIC!"

"FUNTIME FREDDY!"

"MY FUCKING PAYCHECK!"

"DAVE, THERE'S A BUG IN MY EYEEE--)

"Simon, stop trying to fix those goddamn bulbs." Mike rolled his eyes like every edgy teenager that's ever went to Freddy's, period. Simon jumped, startled by the sudden appearance of Mike.

"Oh--h-hey, Mike." he went back to fumbling with the lights, "I'm not tr-trying to FIX them, I'm trying to remove them from the wall."

Mike put a hand on his hip like the sassy asshole he is, face scrunching. "..with your hands? Fucking seriously?" he sighed, shaking his head. "Do you need a hammer? You're not gonna get those nails without something to pluck them out of that fucking wall. Your hands are brittle, you fucking weirdo."

Simon shrunk in on himself, as far as Mike could see, he was a little ashamed. "..yes, please."

Mike held out one, fishing it straight from his pocket.

"..wh-why?.." Simon seemed confused, but Mike only gave him an even more confusing look.

"YOU KNOW WHY, SIMON. Y O U K N O W W H Y ." Mike shoved the hammer into his gloved hand, a sad try at a 'hoove' for humans. Simon slowly nodded, worried. He didn't actually know..

Mike leaned against a wall, Simon jerking out the nails from the wall to use for later.

Simon was..dense, sometimes. Really fucking dense.

"Mi-mike..this one isn't coming out." Simon grunted, trying to tug the steel nail out, but there was no use. It was stuck in there, above the hole Funtime Fazfuck left.

With a groan, Mike snatched the hammer from Simon's hand, who backed up.

He knew he was going to blow up--oh, wait. Nevermind.

Mike snagged the nail out of the wall, along with a VERY LARGE CHUNK OF IT. Simon flinched at the sheer power of Mike's impatience with life, consuming all that once was. "Christ," Mike twitched, throwing the plastic, purple hammer down. "Let's go do stupid shit now. I'm not in this job for manual labor."

Simon put a finger up to interrupt him, but Mike did it first. "I KNOW WHAT I FUCKING SAID, S H U T ."

Oh, well..

<><><>

"Heya, Mikey!"

"How many times have I told you NOT to call me that, you fucking--"

"None!"

"DON'T YOU LIE TO ME--"

Dave was teasing him, and Mike was falling for it--a disaster come to life. "Oh, c'mon, Mikey! It's not too bad! Of a nickname, I mean." he slung an arm around Mike, to which he bodyslammed the other man, storming.

"M-Mike, please--"

"Ignore the damn phone, LET'S RUMBLE, MIKEY!" Dave cackled, and Mike took the bait. A fair, simple fight. That's all it was--

\--until 3 hours later, they were locked in a INTENSE FOOD FIGHT.

"GIVE IT UP, MIKEY!" a booming voice erupted from behind a table.

"NO, YOU FUCKING PRUNE! I WILL FIGHT UNTIL MY LAST BREATH, WHICH WILL BE NEVER! YOU CAN'T WIN THIS!" Mike barked, hopping up and throwing a halloween-themed Doritos bag at the other man.

"OR WILL I, MIKEY?!" he laughed, like the manic fuck he is--"P.S, I'M A FUCKING AUBERGINE, DON'T YOU EVER DISRESPECT MY FATHER LIKE THAT! HE FOUGHT IN THE SCUTTLER WARS!"

He threw a mouldy, orange and purple brownie, that Mike has no actual fucking idea where he got it from--in retaliation.

"GIVE UP! THIS IS INEVITABLE, MIKEY!"

"NO, YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!"

"REALLY, MIKEY?" the aubergine laughed, "IF I'M A PSYCHO--WOULD A PSYCHO DO," a pause, short but tense, "THIS?!"

Mike had no fucking idea what just happened, but once he looked up--

"GIVE ME SIMON BACK! HOSTAGES AREN'T FAIR, YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Mike screeched, throwing a spare scuttler in a cash register costume, but luckily missing. Simon was now being used as a human shield, to Mike's horror.

Dave did a small mad scientist laugh, "WOULD YOU REALLY HURT THIS PHONE, MIKE?" He clutched the sides of Simon's phone head, shaking for emphasis. "THE PHONE YOU L O V E ?" He raised a hand in the air, his entire body shaking with power, and probably the fact his corpse was struggling to keep up.

As soon as he finished his speech, though, he got wasted by a fucking moist jawbreaker Mike found on the floor. It was wet, but there was no other less-gross option.

Traumatized, Simon fell to the floor, and Jeremy nearly choked on his popcorn in Mike's corner vision. He'd apparently just realized the green apple popcorn here tasted like garbage water, the puppet initiating the heimlich maneuver on him seconds after.

"You fucking good, Simon?" Mike shook the sides of his face, this time.

Simon nodded. "After years worth of trauma, this is by far the most calming experience I've had." he patted the silver hand on his face, which brought on a new blooming rosiness to Mike's ears, nose and cheeks. Mike backed away once realizing how close they'd gotten, coughing into a fist and looking at the VERY interesting pebble on the ground.

"Let's go wake that jackass up--I need some fucking candy to restart my heart after that degenerate threw that peanut butter jar at me." Mike wiped a flick of pumpkin-flavored peanut butter off his cheek, letting his hand fall to his side as he sat back up.

Simon followed, just as sick of this day as Mike was, now.

<><><>

Simon was sharing a Halloween bag with Mike, all of a sudden.

Mike didn't bring his own, and since he wanted him to have some--of course he shared! Sharing was caring, but not when it came to dead bodies, lawsuits, semen of any kind and deadly animatronics trying to kill him in his sleep, as once quoted by a wise pokemon.

With that, Mike was collecting from every single hidden, oddly decorated place in this slum of a restaurant. It was Halloween, but the candy was hidden in a multiple of many, many baskets, filled to the brim so everyone could get some, as long as they didn't get lost. It was the equivalent to Easter, but more fun on the brighter side of things, honestly. They got more candy than expected!

Mike was definitely the blueprint when it came to finding candy, it seems. He DID end up sharing a few baskets with Jeremy, which absolutely warmed Simon's heart. He didn't think twice about!..he thought about it several.

But! He still shared, so that was nice of him.

Mike was sticking his body through a vent, dangling from the edge--only hanging on with one of his dress shoes. Simon grew increasingly worried for his sanity about this treasure hunt--that vent was way too small for him and his..Simon blushed, toned figure. He was bigger than Simon was, although still shorter.

Is this why he couldn't pick the nail out of the wall?

Just as self-conscious issues kicked in, Mike jumped out of the vent, coughing, but holding up a basket. "Here it is. That vent's dustier than my children's playset from when I was fucking NINE. I think those bat decorations weren't fucking decorations, that's for sure."

"Y-you had toys as a--nevermind, this is still good! Once this is over, I just pray none of it goes to waste." Simon took the basket, setting it aside and brushing off the soot from Mike's attire. Mike swiped away Simon's hand, trying not to turn red. "Yeah, f-fucking whatever--" Mike shook his head, trying to pat off the grime from his hat and ears.

Mike ended up sneezing for the next three minutes, and Simon quickly learned that Mike is very sensitive to dust--his eyes glossing over, wiping tears away and coughing every now and then. Simon felt his heart pinch, just a little.

Well, atleast he was learning new things about his boyfriend..

All the candy they'd collected was shortly dumped into an Aldi's bag that Simon had left over from the time he had to buy vegetables for a secret mission against Candies'--Mike seemed to look every now and then at the inside of the bag, curiously. It was sweet to see him..enjoy(?) a holiday when it came to at least SOMETHING.

Mike seemed tired, now. With every glance, he looked just a little more exhausted. It was almost 6pm, and even Jeremy, after having inhaled so many different flavors and shapes of candy, seemed to be falling asleep with the puppet by his side.

Dave and Old Sport called it off, officially announcing the search over.

Dave had a heaping amount of Twizzlers, while Old Sport had over a thousand of those chalk candies..it seemed Old Sport needed to feel pain, too. Salute.

..that might be the first time he's ever respected Old Sport--

\--WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO HIM?!

Jeremy was chock full, too. He was snoring softly against the puppet, who seemed to wrap around him gently, as to not hurt him.

Fucking lame.

Simon was trading with Mike, as of present.

"Didn't you say you liked Reeses, Mike?" asked Simon, holding out a handful--before Mike took them swiftly. 

"Course' I fucking do, Simon. I told you they were my favorite, for fucks sake." Mike unwrapped one, popping it into his mouth. "..thanks." he said, after a second was taken to stuff it in the corner of his cheeks like a gerbil.

Simon felt his heart slide around in his chest, admiring the man. This was probably one of the best feelings in life, by now, watching Mike genuinely have fun, (no matter how much he says he isn't,) and especially when it came to him having fun with Simon, himself.

If you'd told him he'd ever find love, especially with someone like Mike?

He probably would have called the time manager, considering you're an illegal time traveler.

Simon eventually picked up a twizzler, and Mike was staring at him, for a moment.

"It's..okay, if you wanna..it's not gonna creep me out or some shit. If you gotta eat, you gotta eat." Mike held a wrapper in hand, crushing it. "Plus," he paused, throwing the wrapper to the side. "I can't eat this shit all by myself, unless, y'know, I wanna die of a fucking self-induced heart attack."

Simon was..nervous, to say the least. He never eats around Mike unless absolutely sure of himself.

He put the wrapper off, and put it into his receiver. It was shredded in just a few seconds--to the point it was presumably ready for consumption. Mike stopped staring once he was done, and eventually, once he got to his second piece, he wasn't staring at all.

Simon's heart swelled, making it slightly hard to breathe with the love he felt.

"Want the last Reeses?" asked Mike, holding out an unwrapped one, and Simon ended up putting it into his receiver as well.

It grinded up to almost a powder..safety is key, after all.

Mike took a sharp glance at Simon, before softening..he'd smiled, a small smile, yet so tender that it reached a certain spot in Simon's heart, filling the hole like cement and a pothole.

Opening a KitKat, he mellowed in the silence, and it was the first time Simon's ever seen him relax like this, even without anyone else around. It was a sight to behold, and he decided he'd save that memory of him, for whenever he felt low, maybe due to having cleanup duty after Dave and Old Sport leave a hole in the wall again, or piles of paperwork..

He felt himself scoot over to Mike, who leaned right back into the man. Mike still smelled like grit from the vents, peanut butter, and opened packaging..but there was one smell he could still recognize on the man.

It wasn't entirely there--but it smelled like what most would call home. To Simon it did, and it was..memorable.

He held Mike, in the still air. No one was here, it was..safe. Good, even.

Simon couldn't wait until next Halloween.

..if Mike didn't set the place to a fate of blazing inferno.


End file.
